Dear Mom,
I told Clay the story of my hairdryer as we were driving home late from school one night this past month. I felt it was time to share one of my very personal stories that not many have heard and which I hold close and dear to my heart – a story about giving, where the gift does not have to be expensive. Here it is to the best of my memory as told to my twelve year old in slow-and-go traffic on La Cienga Blvd.
It was not just any hairdryer. I was a teenager, somewhere between fifteen and seventeen. It was my and my sister Helen’s birthday (we were born only 363 days apart). The two birthday presents were wrapped and lying in front of the fireplace on the red bricks under our mantle where gifts and goodies like our Easter baskets were always placed.
Mom called us over to wish us a happy birthday and apologized to Helen and me that it was something small. I believe Helen knew as well as I did that money was tight as Dad had left us and Mom was paying all the bills, including private school for me and my three sisters. I remember Mom’s eyes tearing up as she told us she loved us.
Helen and I opened our gifts and I saw that we’d received the same type and color of hairdryer. They were both off-white with dual switches, one switch blue and one red to control the speed and temperature of the hairdryer. If I remember correctly they were Panasonics, probably around $20 from Walgreen’s. Mom knew that we both blew our hair, in the style of the early eighties even though my sisters would argue that I knew nothing about style.
Even though I did not know what or how to feel, I know these gifts came from my mom’s heart and love. I might have been fighting back the tears as Helen and I thanked her and gave her a hug. I believe we would have been happy with one of mom’s famous birthday dinners and birthday cakes which was a grand tradition in our house, a gift we continue in our home today.
The story does not end here. I used this hairdryer as well as my sister’s throughout my teenage years, sharing the one bathroom in our house with four ladies.
Every time I used it, I remembered that it was a birthday gift from mom on a birthday when I was not expecting a gift. I am not even sure whether she even realizes today that her simple act of giving me a hairdryer has touched and enriched my life.
I took the hairdryer to college. For four years, from dorms to on- and off-campus housing it always worked for me and my three roommates. In college, every time I saw it or used it I remembered that it was a special gift, and I remembered my mom. I remembered that it was gift given out of love and sacrifice for her children.
This white, dual-switched hairdryer was a link to what love is. My mom’s love is unconditional – she would sacrifice so much for me and my three sisters and never know how difficult it was.
I was away at college and was not present every day like my sisters Lisa and Helen to witness the many hardships. I wanted to believe that it was easier with Patrice and me away at college, and Lisa helping out financially. I do not know this as a fact just a feeling. Mom helped me with tuition and round-trip air fare every Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and end of term. I do not know how she did it yet I do understand it and feel her particular kind of love more now that I have three boys of my own and the love of a father for his children.
The greatest gift can be as simple as a $20 hairdryer. Some gifts are given with so much love that you may not even realize the depth of that love at the time. You, Clay, like your brothers, are gifts to mom and dad.
Do you remember when I told you one of the greatest gifts I can give you is your faith journey in God? My mom gave me my faith journey. She passed it on to me. And when you were first born as I was holding you in the hospital and thanked God for you, I promised God that I would pass on the faith journey my mom gave me.
The story does not end here. This inexpensive hair dryer never got left behind. I always packed it carefully as it was dear to me.
After graduation, I moved to Florida for all the wrong reasons. I did not toss the hair dryer away or give it to someone. No one would have thought twice had I forgotten it or left it behind. It was old and dirty with lint in the filter. It had been dropped and banged around for years. Some would probably just have tossed it. And I wasn’t even blowing my hair dry anymore. Still, I kept it.
And then one day in Florida, my girlfriend was using the hair dryer and it simply stopped working. I cried. The girlfriend could not and did not understand. She said she would buy me a new one.
I started to explain, but then I stopped trying to explain. This was my history and she could not empathize. I cried a little more.
I no longer have the hair dryer. Do you know what I think of when I see or hear a hair dryer? I think of my mom and the many gifts and sacrifices she has given me.
I shared this story to pass a gift on to Clay and realized I wanted and needed to share this with you – Mom – as you may not know how some of your many gifts have been received. Now I have the honor and love as a father to share your gifts with my sons and that is my gift to you.
Merry Christmas,
Jeff
The.American.Word. 